


Cyrus gets a gift

by Delyrium



Category: Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions
Genre: Gen, Sexual Humor, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 06:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11571987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delyrium/pseuds/Delyrium
Summary: Cyrus finds a mysterious gift-wrapped present on his desk, and opens it to find something unexpected. A rather short oneshot.





	Cyrus gets a gift

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't actually any sex in this fic, but it does contain sexual themes.

It was another new day at Team Galactic’s headquarters. Cyrus was returning to his office after some minimal sleep, ready to work on plans that would one day give him the power he needed to make the changes that the universe needed, getting rid of that stupid incomplete thing called “spirit” once and for all.

 

What he had not expected was to find a small gift box sitting on his desk. How odd, it was extremely rare for Cyrus to get gifts, and even then, how would they even get in to put it on the desk? Only a handful of grunts were supposed to have the key.

 

Cyrus inspected the box carefully before picking it up, mostly in case it was something hazardous. There was a tag on it, which was impossible to read, considering it was sitting under the box.

 

It was probably a better idea to call in some grunts to open the package for him. However, he’d have to wait outside his office if he went that route, and really didn’t want to bother to call in help. He would just have to pick it up and find out himself.

 

Gingerly lifting the box up from his desk, Cyrus first checked the gift tag. It said:

 

“For: YOU and YOU alone! From: A good suggestion”

 

Curious. Obviously, the “you” was referring to Cyrus, or it wouldn’t have been on his desk. What, though, did the “a good suggestion” part mean?

 

His first thought was that if had to be from Mars. Out of all of the presents Cyrus had ever received, a good half had been from her. Still, all the gifts she had given him had simply been addressed as “Dear: Boss Cyrus From: Commander Mars”. Besides, the tag on this box was handwritten, and the writing was not Mars’s.

 

This was taking too long. Not wanting to waste any more time, Galactic’s boss ripped the gift wrap off of the cube-shaped package, revealing a cardboard box inside. Cyrus opened that box to find what appeared to be a cylinder-shaped plastic bottle.

 

A quick inspection of the bottle did not tell Cyrus exactly what it was. The words on the label called the product “vanilla-flavored spray”, so maybe it was to spray in the air to make the room smell better? That was slightly insulting if that were the case, as Cyrus’s office always smelled impeccably clean.

 

Maybe it was for Cyrus’s bathroom? Cyrus always made sure that his bathroom was completely sterile as well. After all, he had grunts cleaning it at least twice a day. Could it be from one of those grunts? Or was it simply hand sanitizer?

 

Reading the label further, it seemed that the spray was supposed to go in one’s mouth. Odd. It didn’t look like candy. Possibly it was for giving speeches? That would make some sense, although Cyrus’s speeches were absolutely fine. All he really needed was a glass of water for the longer ones.

 

It was at that moment that there was a knock on the door, followed by Saturn walking into the office.

 

“Yes, Saturn?” Cyrus looked up from the bottle in his hand to his highest-ranked subordinate.

 

“Sir, I have finished collecting the recorded data from project...” Saturn stopped talking when his eyes wandered from Cyrus’s face to the bottle in his boss’s hands.

 

“Is there something wrong, Saturn?” Cyrus asked, not quite getting why his second-in-command had stopped dead in the middle of a sentence.

 

“Master Cyrus, sir, If I may ask-- um... what is that bottle in your hand?”

 

“It’s a gift I received.” Cyrus showed the bottle to Saturn. By the slightly nervous look on his face, it was almost as if he had found his boss holding a love letter.

 

“An er-- gift? From who? If you don’t want to tell me, I understand, and I greatly apologize for being nosy.” Saturn was now looking more fidgety, and even... curious?

 

“I don’t know. There wasn’t a real name on the tag.” Cyrus gestured to the empty box on his desk with the tag next to it.

 

“I- oh.” A look of realization spread on Saturn’s face as the commander put the bottle back on the desk. “You- you do know what this is, right?”

 

“Yes, of course,” Cyrus lied. “Why would you think… you didn’t send this to me, did you?” that might just answer the question of why Saturn was acting so strange.

 

“Me? Oh no, definitely not. I would never think of sending you something of that sort. That would be completely inappropriate sir, I-” Saturn stopped mid-sentence again, glancing from the box, to the bottle, and finally up to Cyrus.

 

“Do you really know what that is, Cyrus?” Well, looks like Cyrus had been caught lying.

 

“No,” Cyrus admitted finally. “Can you tell me? Obviously you seem to know.”

 

“Well- I- it’s…” an expression of mixed horror and embarrassment had crossed the commander’s face.

 

“What?” Cyrus asked, still unsure why his commander was being so emotional. Hadn’t Cyrus trained him better than that?

 

“It’s something you- err... something a person uses when... they erm... you spray it when...in your... eheheh.”

 

While Saturn was trying to stammer out a reply, the door opened. Jupiter was standing in the doorway with Mars right behind her.

 

“Master Cyrus, sir, Mars and I just talked to a representative from that company you-” Jupiter, too froze. What was going on?

 

Well, Cyrus did have a certain, uh, suspicion, but that was pushed as far back in his mind as it could go. It couldn’t be that sort of thing, could it? Nope, nothing like that had happened since the nap room fiasco, and Cyrus had made his opinions on that very clear.

 

“I see that I interrupted something important, I’m deeply sorry, I’ll leave now.” Jupiter smiled sheepishly and turned around to walk back out of the door.

 

“No, Jupiter, there must be some sort of misunderstanding here, I was just-” Cyrus’s words were too late, as Jupiter had already walked around Mars and back towards the stairs.

 

Speaking of Mars, the red-haired commander had just walked into the room as Jupiter had left.  She walked up next to Saturn at the desk and glanced down at the bottle, examining what she could see of the label. When she was done doing that, she looked up, from Cyrus’s mostly neutral (and somewhat inquisitive, she thought) stare to Saturn’s horrified expression.

 

“Do you know what this is, Mars?” Cyrus questioned, pushing the bottle in her direction.

 

“Oh, that? It’s deepthroat lotion, sir.” Mars stated, before realizing what exactly she had just said. When she did, the female commander’s eyes grew wide, while her face turned color to try matching her hair.

 

The room fell silent. Saturn was frozen in place, staring at Mars in disbelief. Mars herself was still staring down at the bottle on the desk, trying her best not to meet her boss’s eyes. Cyrus had his usual glare focused on Mars, although looking closely, there was the tiniest bit of red flushing his cheeks.

 

“Mars.” Cyrus finally remarked, figuring that if he didn’t break the silence, nobody would.

 

Mars responded with the tiniest of squeaking noises before slowly trailing her vision up to meet her superior’s eyes.

 

“Are you the one who sent me this box?”

 

“I- No, master Cyrus sir. Of course not! Wouldn’t think of it. That would be very inappropriate. I mean- I guess what I said was kind of inappropriate, but I swear I didn’t send you that. I- I’ll stop talking now.” Mars stammered, then fell silent.

 

Cyrus continued to stare coldly at Mars, his expression one of slight disbelief. But still, it did have somebody else’s printing on it, and Mars had never done anything like this before. Still…

 

“Are you sure? Why would it be anybody else?”

 

“Yes. It, uh- I think that gift is just a fancy way of telling you to ‘go eat a dick’.” Mars once again realized what she had just said, and quickly put a hand over her mouth.

 

“...fine,” Cyrus stated, at long last breaking eye contact with Mars to stare down at the offensive bottle. “I believe you.”

 

With that said, Cyrus picked up the bottle and wrapping, and threw them in the trash. Whatever idiot had put it on his desk was simply not worth any more of his time.

 

“You two may leave.”

 

“Y-yes sir!” Mars squeaked before scampering out of the room. Saturn then filed out silently behind her.

 

Cyrus shook his head and began on his work.

 

Somewhere in the base, there was a grunt giggling madly.

 

Elsewhere, a different grunt was looking for their key.


End file.
